Today I saw a headline titled "Forbes Magazine All Star Moms List", and since I wouldn't know an original idea if it slapped me upside my head (if you read my last post you know this, or if you know me at all you already know this to be true), I thought, "what a great idea for a blog, I'm totally stealing that". So here I go again.......
But before I get to that I just want to give a shout out to a variety of moms I know and tell you why you're on my mind everyday, not just on this made-up holiday:
*To the many moms I know who've had to give their babies back to heaven, this is your day too. I won't presume to know the depth of your pain, but I know that your babies and children were called into your life for a reason and for reasons none of us will probably ever understand here on earth, they've been called back to be with their Creator. I don't know what you're supposed to learn through all this but I do know that them being called back had NOTHING whatsoever to do with the level or depth of your love or how "good" of a parent you were. God isn't punishing you. He feels the depth of your pain and wants you to go to Him with everything you feel everyday; the good, the bad and especially the ugly. Despite the fact you've had to bury your hopes and dreams along with your child, God still has lots more in life for you to experience. Most of all He has healing and restoration in store for you. I hope you feel loved today because you are.
*To my many friends who have, or are, building their families through the adoption process, this is your day too! Just because your child didn't grow inside you doesn't lessen your love or devotion to your child, and conversely nor are your feelings of unfathomable pain and grief any less if you've ever "lost" a child through the unpredictable and often unstable child welfare system, just because you're an adoptive family. Pain is pain and so often the deck is stacked completely against the adoptive family, no matter how qualified or wonderful they are, or for how long they've had their baby or child. The babies and children you've had in your care, if only for hours, will always be with you (and me). Today is for us too. We may only have one, two, three, or however many children physically living with us, but the ones whom we thought were going to be forever ours but are now living elsewhere will always be with us.
*To my friends here with me on the "Good Ship Disability", this is an "interesting" day to say the least! I am quite honestly VERY conflicted about this whole well-intentioned-but-long-since-hijacked-by-the-greeting-card-and-flower-growers-associations "holiday". Many of us sunning ourselves on the deck of the disability ship have kids who have NO concept of what "Mother's Day" is....and they may never, ever (shock and dismay ring out from the people leaning over the railings over yonder on the We Are Perfectly Normal ship, because they can not fathom NOT being lauded and appreciated on their "special day"). I know this whole Mother's Day thing is HUGE here in the U.S. but quite frankly, I really don't care that our oldest child will probably never have the cognitive ability to engage with the hoopla. I'm happy to be a mom. I'm THRILLED to be on my son's journey WITH him every day of the year and I don't need him to throw a party for me to prove that he "gets" anything. He "gets" love, devotion, laughter, hugs and joy everyday. Our daughter is a little more cognizant of the day, but I don't think she gets why there is a day. She doesn't get the whole mass-manipulation thing. Right there with ya, Sweet Potato, the emotional trappings of the day don't make much sense to me either. I know she loves me in the best way she can.
*To my friends here on the Good Ship Disability who found themselves here long after being aboard the We're Perfectly Normal (and We Like It Just Fine) ship because of an accident, a trauma or some other crazy curve ball that life threw you (or at you, as it may seem) and your family, I know, no I FEEL every day from you that this is NOT the Mother's Day you would have EVER planned for yourself or the rest of your family. Part of me is sorry that you're here on board with the rest of us because your sadness and grief is palpable, and I hurt because you hurt. I'm sorry about that car accident that's responsible for your teenager who will never walk again, or for the permanent damage your child suffered due to vaccinations (so did our son by the way), I'm sorry your daughter had a near-drowning accident, but the circumstances don't change the fact that you're still a fantastic mom and your child still has an amazing mission to accomplish with you as their mom.
Mother's Day, and lots of other days here on the Good Ship Disability, are a little sweeter in countless ways and we appreciate a lot of the "little things" in life that probably go unnoticed aboard the We're Perfectly Normal ship. I know you're not here by your choice but I'm glad you're here none the less. No matter what the world says (or your immediate family), your child isn't broken, and with each others help we can lift each other up to be the best moms we can be with the information we have. And isn't that all we can ask for on any day? So happy "You Day".....everyday!!